Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Lorena Bobwhite was acquitted on all charges of having mutilated her husband, John Bobwhite, after her attorney, Perry Racin' Pigeon, called a surprise witness to the stand. Dr. Richard Killdeer testified under oath that John Bobwhite never had a penis in the first place.
at 10:23 AM
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
at 9:12 PM
Here's an interesting little tidbit. We ravens do not live in Baltimore nor do we visit there, so we've been arguing about why they picked us to represent their football team. But it turns out it's because Edgar Allan Poe lived in Baltimore on and off and is buried there. Huh--people are just so silly.
at 9:01 PM
Friday, January 8, 2010
TO the sick the doctors wisely recommend a change of air and scenery. Thank Heaven, here is not all the world. The buckeye does not grow in New England, and the mocking-bird is rarely heard here. The wild goose is more of a cosmopolite than we; he breaks his fast in Canada, takes a luncheon in the Ohio, and plumes himself for the night in a southern bayou. Even the bison to some extent keeps pace with the seasons, cropping the pastures of the Colorado only till a greener and sweeter grass awaits him by the Yellowstone. Yet we think that if rail-fences are pulled down, and stone-walls piled up on our farms, bounds are henceforth set to our 'lives and our fates decided. If you are chosen town clerk, forsooth, you cannot go to Terra del Fuego this summer: but you may go to the land of infernal fire nevertheless. The universe is wider than our views of it.
at 1:58 PM
Thursday, January 7, 2010
HAHAHA! Look what Ben Franklin wrote in a letter to his daughter:
For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.
With all this Injustice, he is never in good Case but like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank Coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the District. He is therefore by no means a proper Emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our Country...
I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America... He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.
at 11:17 AM