Who YOU lookin' at?

Some people like fast food.

We prefer it slow--at least, too slow to cross a road successfully.

Boo, Patriots! I was ravenous for the Ravens to win.

So do you prefer my profile shot....

or my straight on shot?

Who was that masked duck?

The Lone Ranger of the Wetlands.

This year I resolve to eat a vegan diet.

Of all the food items I eat, goldfinches are by far the tastiest, so I'm going to focus on eating just them. And since goldfinches are true vegans, eating nothing but seeds, that puts me on a true vegan diet!

Happy Owlidays!

A Veery Berry Christmas to you!

Be your own kind of beautiful

Sponsored by Merry Jay Cosmetics

Go, Cardinals!

Go, Cardinals!

We St. Louis birds have to stick together!

Down with prejudice!

I don't get it. People set out a veritable feast—sunflower seeds and corn—and then tell us they don't serve our kind. It's just wrong. But I'm proud of my friends—no matter how egregiously those people shun us, we limit our protests to simple civil disobedience, without destroying property (well, we're not perfect here, but we do our best) or saying naughty words. But I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of squirrels and the sons of chickadees will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood and peanuts.

Yum yum!!

Save birds. Take in a cat.

What kind of misguided humans think it's "humane" to leave cats outdoors or support feral cat colonies? This one was loose in Port Wing, Wisconsin, eating what birds it could kill even though it was declawed. It's FIV positive, so it's probably been spreading that to cats it came into contact with, and had awful worms. The poor thing wasn't going to survive long with all that, and meanwhile it was going to take out a lot of us birds. Consigning these pitiful things to the wild (remember—Port Wing has bears and foxes and coyotes and even wolves!) is humane only for people who want to close their eyes to their plight or who romanticize the wild from their comfortable homes.

People may be more intelligent than you think.

I've got my human trained to feed me and clean up after me. She even makes curious vocalizations as if she's trying to call when I do! Plus she's entirely housebroken—and we all know how objectionable and disease-ridden human droppings are!

I don't think it's suitable for owls to have pets--you lose too much freedom if you let a human into your life. But if you've got some problem and need assistance, a human may be the right service animal for you. Remember: to keep one, you must have special permits from the US Fish and Wildlife Service AND your state's department of conservation or natural resources or whatever. The paperwork is a bitch, but if your human attended obedience school, s/he may know how to fill it out for you.

What me--worry?

Quick Weight Loss Plan

We shorebirds are famous for our long flights and ability to lose weight on our journeys. Josh Kurz did a story about us with a cool graphic on the Higher Mammals blog. Too bad those pitiful mammals just can't master what we birds can!

Don't you dare call me a BCCH!!!

What does the NRA have against us?

The only place in the entire US of A where we Florida Scrub-Jays have ever been found is Florida. We even have the word "Florida" in our name. But do people make us Florida's state bird? Nope, because Marion Hammer, the first woman president of the NRA, thought we don't deserve it because we can't be found over every inch of the state. So the mockingbird—a generic bird that doesn't even have its own song but has to steal bits and pieces of everybody else's sounds—gets that distinction, even though mockingbirds are the state bird of four other states!

It's not like you can find most state birds over every inch of their states. Louisiana's Brown Pelican can only be found along the coast. Maryland's Baltimore Oriole and Minnesota's loon fly the coop every winter, when they can't be found in those states at all. And Delaware's "Blue Hen" can't be found anywhere—it's a fictitious bird of cockfighting fame.

We are certainly the friendliest bird ANYWHERE. What other lifer lands on the hands and heads of birders seeing it for the first time? And because we're both easy to see and only found in Florida, we even boost the state's tourism income. Come on, Florida—we deserve it!

Michigan should have made me their state bird

For over a century, the only place on the continent where we were known to breed was Michigan. So naturally we assumed when they named a state bird they'd pick us. But NOOOOOOOOOO—they picked the stupid old robin, who you can find just about anywhere. Well, we're not taking this sitting down. Some of us thought, why should we be loyal to a state that doesn't see how special we are? So Wisconsin, here we come!!!!

It's SO easy to give Laura a thrill

All I have to do is let her make a recording of my whinny and she gets oh, so excited!

How come they never use me in those "Visit California" commercials?

I'd never live anywhere else!

We told you so! 1136 raptors counted yesterday!

In September, Hawk Ridge really is the place to be.

Head on up to Hawk Ridge. Yes, I'm talkin' to YOU!

My beak's bigger than your beak!

You can't see me up here, can you?

Here's lookin' at you, kid

Hey, you kids...

...Get off my lawn!!!

Sometimes the proper word is

WHOM.

We've been using disposable diapers...

...since before you humans were born.