We Built That!

All we needed was some quality habitat protected by the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources.

We Built That!

All it took was a bit of high-quality habitat, furnished courtesy of the Cornell Lab of Ornithology.

Say it ain't so, Zen Birdfeeder!!!

The Zen Birdfeeder just published a MORTIFYING photo montage showing some of my friends molting! I'm sure none of these birds were aware they were being photographed naked as jaybirds!! I mean, look--here we adult jays are, exhausted after a busy summer of raising our perfect youngsters, and eager to look our best again, so we rush ahead through the utterly depleting business of molt, dropping virtually all the feathers on our capital tract at once, hoping to sneak through summer's end without anyone noticing that for a few weeks we look less than perfect, and there she goes, publishing a National Enquirer-level "story" without even explaining how draining the molt process is. This kind of gotcha "journalism" sucks.

I mean, if you're going to show an UGLY head molt, choose an ugly species, like those stupid cardinals. Worst of all, she posted this during National Blue Jay Awareness Month. Have some respect!!!

Finally! A book I can sink my beak into!

I don't do much reading--really, not much is written for us birds. But The Mincing Mockingbird's Guide to Troubled Birds is great. As it says on the title page, it's "an authoritative illustrated compendium to be consulted in the event of an infant or small child being torn apart by a murder of crows." And at only 64 pages, it's easy for me to carry from tree to tree. Of course, my chickadee friends would have some trouble picking it up, but they're not into dark humor anyway.

Geraldo, stop seeing everything in black and white...

...and hoodies.

Please don't shoot me...

...just because I'm wearing a hoodie.

We'll clean up your messes...

...but we'd prefer that you drove at the slowest speed that is safe, courteous, and convenient.

That's not funny

No, I'm not laughing—I'm panting. Of course, we birds know that. It's people who don't understand basic body language.

I am all astonishment.

I TOLD you--I'm not your BCCH!

Yes, it's Valentine's Day, and yes, it's also the start of my breeding season, but...

Chocolates? Jewelry? Flowers? Oh, dear. Everyone knows that the true path to love is grounded in high quality sticks.

The very thought of a black eye freaks me out!

Who're YOU looking at??

Superb Owl Sunday

Who YOU lookin' at?

Some people like fast food.

We prefer it slow--at least, too slow to cross a road successfully.

Boo, Patriots! I was ravenous for the Ravens to win.

So do you prefer my profile shot....

or my straight on shot?

Who was that masked duck?

The Lone Ranger of the Wetlands.

This year I resolve to eat a vegan diet.

Of all the food items I eat, goldfinches are by far the tastiest, so I'm going to focus on eating just them. And since goldfinches are true vegans, eating nothing but seeds, that puts me on a true vegan diet!

Happy Owlidays!

A Veery Berry Christmas to you!

Be your own kind of beautiful

Sponsored by Merry Jay Cosmetics

Go, Cardinals!

Go, Cardinals!

We St. Louis birds have to stick together!

Down with prejudice!

I don't get it. People set out a veritable feast—sunflower seeds and corn—and then tell us they don't serve our kind. It's just wrong. But I'm proud of my friends—no matter how egregiously those people shun us, we limit our protests to simple civil disobedience, without destroying property (well, we're not perfect here, but we do our best) or saying naughty words. But I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of squirrels and the sons of chickadees will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood and peanuts.

Yum yum!!

Save birds. Take in a cat.

What kind of misguided humans think it's "humane" to leave cats outdoors or support feral cat colonies? This one was loose in Port Wing, Wisconsin, eating what birds it could kill even though it was declawed. It's FIV positive, so it's probably been spreading that to cats it came into contact with, and had awful worms. The poor thing wasn't going to survive long with all that, and meanwhile it was going to take out a lot of us birds. Consigning these pitiful things to the wild (remember—Port Wing has bears and foxes and coyotes and even wolves!) is humane only for people who want to close their eyes to their plight or who romanticize the wild from their comfortable homes.

People may be more intelligent than you think.

I've got my human trained to feed me and clean up after me. She even makes curious vocalizations as if she's trying to call when I do! Plus she's entirely housebroken—and we all know how objectionable and disease-ridden human droppings are!

I don't think it's suitable for owls to have pets--you lose too much freedom if you let a human into your life. But if you've got some problem and need assistance, a human may be the right service animal for you. Remember: to keep one, you must have special permits from the US Fish and Wildlife Service AND your state's department of conservation or natural resources or whatever. The paperwork is a bitch, but if your human attended obedience school, s/he may know how to fill it out for you.

What me--worry?