We resolve to celebrate this boy's triple-golden birthday on 10-10-10.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
New Year's Resolution Time!
I resolve to stop being so anal-retentive and snooty about when the decade ends. I know that there was no "zero" year, so new decades, centuries, and millennia should begin on the 1s, not 0-years, but there's something to be said for the important change actually starting when people need to change two or more digits when printing new calendars, and by most reckonings, 9 really is larger than 0, so it's the zero year that represents a bigger start.
New Year's Resolution Time!
I resolve to stop being so skittish when I notice people at a window. Unless they're scary.
New Year's Resolution Time!
We resolve to be more mindful of cameras when we're feeling hot to trot. Think of the children!
New Year's Resolution Time!
I resolve to dance in front of humans "hiding" in a blind ONLY when each of them has purchased a Duck Stamp or is a member of The Nature Conservancy.
New Year's Resolution Time!
In 2010, I resolve to give my mate(s) sole custody of our children, and to keep my family out of the media.
New Year's Resolution Time!
I hereby resolve to stop eating birds in 2010. Unless I'm hungry, of course.
New Year's Resolution Time!
I promise in 2010 to be tidier and not spill so many nyjer seed shells under feeders. Well, unless it's too hard, of course.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
New Year's Resolution Time!
I resolve to cut my electricity usage by 50 percent. What's 50 percent of zero?
New Year's Resolution Time!
In 2010, I resolve to stick to the Atkin's diet. Oh, wait--I always stick to the Atkin's diet.
New Year's Resolution Time!
In 2010, I resolve to give up sunflower seeds. Well, at least until after sunrise on January 1.
New Year's Resolution Time!
In 2010, I resolve to eat as many peanuts as I can and to keep clear of shrikes.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Guest movie review: Up in the AIr
Well, I guess it's appropriate for a goose to write about a movie about air travel. Duluth's new Zinema theater even had old commercials about air travel that included one for Republic Airlines, which used a goose in their logo. (Wouldn't it have been funny if that was United's logo when they went down in the Hudson? I mean that in the most cynical way possible--we geese are still in mourning.)
Anyway, this movie pretty much epitomizes what we birds find so mystifying about humans. Holy crap--they are so friggin' subservient! Imagine a goose getting fired--no way, because no way would we ever put ourselves into such a dependent situation in the first place.
Anyway, that made us pretty confused about the whole George Clooney thing. And the whole monogamy thing is such a no-brainer--how else can one find meaning in one's life except by choosing a life mate and raising broods of young together and sticking together no matter where we are? So that was another element of the movie that I just couldn't relate to. The only thing left was the flying thing, but even there, we just take off and go. No airport security, no "backpacks"--we bring our family along and who needs anything else?
So the movie was confusing and disconcerting. I can't give it a beak down, though--people probably found it interesting, and I think George Clooney was great, though I'm sure he would have been happier had he been born a goose than a person with such a cruel job and no mate to count on and raise babies with.
Anyway, this movie pretty much epitomizes what we birds find so mystifying about humans. Holy crap--they are so friggin' subservient! Imagine a goose getting fired--no way, because no way would we ever put ourselves into such a dependent situation in the first place.
Anyway, that made us pretty confused about the whole George Clooney thing. And the whole monogamy thing is such a no-brainer--how else can one find meaning in one's life except by choosing a life mate and raising broods of young together and sticking together no matter where we are? So that was another element of the movie that I just couldn't relate to. The only thing left was the flying thing, but even there, we just take off and go. No airport security, no "backpacks"--we bring our family along and who needs anything else?
So the movie was confusing and disconcerting. I can't give it a beak down, though--people probably found it interesting, and I think George Clooney was great, though I'm sure he would have been happier had he been born a goose than a person with such a cruel job and no mate to count on and raise babies with.
Guest Movie Reviewer: Sherlock Holmes
I brought the wife and kids to see Sherlock Holmes a couple of days ago. One of my friends said there was a Carrion Crow in several scenes, and since Robert Downey Jr. is the closest thing to a corvid that Hollywood has (his eyes are filled with intelligence, good humor, and cunning, and he's as handsome as any of us) I figured it would be a good romp. But uh oh--I was wrong. First off, I should not have brought the kids--the action was way too intense, and talk about LOUD! We could damage our hearing! And then, I expected the crow to be a symbol of the human world's most dapper, intelligent sleuth, but it turns out the poor guy was being abused as a symbol of death! Imagine that!! And really over-used in a stupid as well as creepy way.
Every day of my life I've awakened with other crows--first my mom and dad and brother and sisters, and then all our friends and neighbors sharing the big roost. If someone really died every time a crow appeared, whoa--who would be left? So much as I thought Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law were the perfect human version of Holmes and Watson, I MUCH prefer the Kevin Corvid production that featured Casey Crow as Holmes and Charles Chickadee as his faithful sidekick and partner, using their wits, not violence, to bring down the most nefarious criminal hawks and shrikes.
I am looking forward to seeing the next one, just to see who they cast as Moriarty. It will, of course, be hard to find a human who can do as well as Marcus Magpie did--matching Holmes's intelligence and wit perfectly. I don't know that the human world has an actor who could truly be a match for Downey. But we'll see.
Every day of my life I've awakened with other crows--first my mom and dad and brother and sisters, and then all our friends and neighbors sharing the big roost. If someone really died every time a crow appeared, whoa--who would be left? So much as I thought Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law were the perfect human version of Holmes and Watson, I MUCH prefer the Kevin Corvid production that featured Casey Crow as Holmes and Charles Chickadee as his faithful sidekick and partner, using their wits, not violence, to bring down the most nefarious criminal hawks and shrikes.
I am looking forward to seeing the next one, just to see who they cast as Moriarty. It will, of course, be hard to find a human who can do as well as Marcus Magpie did--matching Holmes's intelligence and wit perfectly. I don't know that the human world has an actor who could truly be a match for Downey. But we'll see.
What kind of planet doesn't have birds?
As the Twin Beaks official movie reviewer, I went to see Avatar today. Action movies aren't my forte, and those 3-D glasses are harder than heck to use when you weigh 20 grams and don't have ears that stick out or a nose. But my friends said it had a strong environmental message so I thought, what the heck, and went to the matinee.
WHOA! The action was brutal. No Sharp-shinned Hawk or Merlin is that blood-thirsty! But that's the way it is in the movie world, and I could handle that. I can even handle inappropriate bird song in the background of movies. What I cannot handle is the utter lack of bird song in the background, especially when a movie takes place in a huge, beautiful (if surreal) forest. I mean, how could blue, lanky human life forms evolve, along with flying reptiles, without birds? Unless those blue, lanky humans had hunted them all to extinction--I did notice the feathers on their arrows, but there was no other evidence of birds anywhere to be seen or heard. I wouldn't have minded James Cameron imagining a planet where evolution led to other life forms instead of birds, if only it had SONG. I mean, the blue and lanky humans spoke with human voices, just in a different language, and the animals and humans all grunted, so there was some sort of voice box being used for communication. It seems unfathomable to me that no animals at all had evolved to exploit any sound wavelengths for basic communication that could carry through the forest. It made the movie somehow hollow--popular culture is so filled with "idealized" nature rather than the real thing, like the turtle dove that flies out of Kevin Costner's "post" in Dances with Wolves when of course there was no way for one to be there back then. (In a lot of ways, Avatar reminded me of Dances with Wolves, except that Avatar lacked the sweet, peaceful scenes that made one way of life genuinely superior to another.) The forest in Avatar was visually beautiful, but a forest is filled with beautiful sounds as well as sights, and Mr. Cameron forgot all about that critical dimension.
So I'm giving Avatar beaks down. Good message, but too violent and Cameron's vision of an idealized forest was just that--visual, with none of the aural pleasures that a real forest, no matter on what planet it evolved, would have.
WHOA! The action was brutal. No Sharp-shinned Hawk or Merlin is that blood-thirsty! But that's the way it is in the movie world, and I could handle that. I can even handle inappropriate bird song in the background of movies. What I cannot handle is the utter lack of bird song in the background, especially when a movie takes place in a huge, beautiful (if surreal) forest. I mean, how could blue, lanky human life forms evolve, along with flying reptiles, without birds? Unless those blue, lanky humans had hunted them all to extinction--I did notice the feathers on their arrows, but there was no other evidence of birds anywhere to be seen or heard. I wouldn't have minded James Cameron imagining a planet where evolution led to other life forms instead of birds, if only it had SONG. I mean, the blue and lanky humans spoke with human voices, just in a different language, and the animals and humans all grunted, so there was some sort of voice box being used for communication. It seems unfathomable to me that no animals at all had evolved to exploit any sound wavelengths for basic communication that could carry through the forest. It made the movie somehow hollow--popular culture is so filled with "idealized" nature rather than the real thing, like the turtle dove that flies out of Kevin Costner's "post" in Dances with Wolves when of course there was no way for one to be there back then. (In a lot of ways, Avatar reminded me of Dances with Wolves, except that Avatar lacked the sweet, peaceful scenes that made one way of life genuinely superior to another.) The forest in Avatar was visually beautiful, but a forest is filled with beautiful sounds as well as sights, and Mr. Cameron forgot all about that critical dimension.
So I'm giving Avatar beaks down. Good message, but too violent and Cameron's vision of an idealized forest was just that--visual, with none of the aural pleasures that a real forest, no matter on what planet it evolved, would have.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Just four more days...
...and this infernal "National Blue Jay Awareness Month" will be over at long last.
Ah, Minnesota!
It's lovely to visit Duluth. And I'm never lonely. Between the many cardinals, robins, crossbills, waxwings, and other birds visiting Pat Thomas's yard and all those people looking at me through binoculars, I've got plenty of company.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
How Earth Angel Bird Identification Binoculars Saved Christmas
How Earth Angel Bird Identification Binoculars Saved Christmas Featuring Ian Smith, Ramiro Figuero, and Joe Erickson.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
So how cooperative should I be during the Christmas Bird Count?
I'll do my best to reduce the number of chickadees and goldfinches people have to search for.
So how cooperative should I be during the Christmas Bird Count?
We'll come right out into the open and do plenty of calling to get your attention, but we expect you guys to do a little work, too, to keep track of us all. We can't give you everything!
So how cooperative should I be during the Christmas Bird Count?
Shhhh! Those friggin' crows and chickadees try to give us away, and a few smartypants like that Birdchick look for our droppings and pellets, but we do our best to hide out.
So how cooperative should I be during the Christmas Bird Count?
I think we gulls are among the most cooperative. Just head to your nearest dump and be ready for some fast number-crunching.
So how cooperative should I be during the Christmas Bird Count?
There's a limit to how loud I can make my voice. You humans will just have to listen hard.
Friday, December 18, 2009
How the Raven Saved Christmas
Here's OUR favorite Christmas story. It does involve our little Blue Jay relatives, so is at least a little relevant during National Blue Jay Awareness Month. How the Raven Saved Christmas (MP3 sound file).
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
In honor of Jane Austen's birthday
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single mockingbird in possession of a good territory, must be in want of a wife.
How are you celebrating National Blue Jay Awareness Month?
I'm no party animal, but I'll raise my beak to them. They always let me know when they find a good new feeder, and while they're cleaning the meat off a deer carcass in the woods, they don't mind if I come in and work on the fat, gristle, and bone.
A dog's perspective
We little dogs are very happy that the 4-pound Pomeranian got away from that Great Horned Owl. I asked my human if an owl could carry me off. Her answer was not reassuring. She said, "Of course not--you weigh 13 pounds--far too much for a 4-pound Great Horned Owl, or even a 10-pound Bald Eagle, to carry. They'd eat you right where they got you."
Fortunately, she loves me and when she takes me birding, she keeps me on a leash, and keeps the windows open during hawk migration so she can hear me if I need her.
Fortunately, she loves me and when she takes me birding, she keeps me on a leash, and keeps the windows open during hawk migration so she can hear me if I need her.
Take home message
The story about the Pomeranian dropped by one of us and rescued by a person is a cautionary tale we all should tell our children. Remember, kids, always give 'em a good hard bite in the neck first. Then, after being sure they're really most sincerely dead, you can carry them off as easy as pie.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
How are you celebrating National Blue Jay Awareness Month?
Listening very carefully for their wonderfully raucous calls, which tell me where predators might be.
Monday, December 14, 2009
How are you celebrating National Blue Jay Awareness Month?
Believe me, we peanuts find no cause for celebration this month.
How are you celebrating National Blue Jay Awareness Month?
I'm down in the tropics right now where I can't do a darned thing about National Blue Jay Awareness Day. But I'm thinking about that wonderful Blue Jay who screamed bloody murder and called in the whole neighborhood when a Sharp-shinned Hawk went after my mate. Thanks to that Blue Jay, she got away and we raised all our nestlings successfully.
How are you celebrating National Blue Jay Awareness Month?
I've taken Nancy Reagan's advice to heart. I just say no.
Children, listen! It's National Blue Jay Awareness Month!
Some may tell you that you are obligated to celebrate. But really, we geese have virtually nothing to do with Blue Jays, so don't you worry your pretty little heads about it.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
How are you celebrating National Blue Jay Awareness Month?
We haven't decided yet, but whatever we do, you bet your bippy we'll do it together!
How are you celebrating National Blue Jay Awareness Month?
Fish should fit the bill. I celebrate EVERYTHING with fish.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Tracking a murderer
Every year during deer hunting season, I visit a couple of hunters up in their deer stands. One of them keeps sunflower seeds in his pocket just for me, and the other one brings me peanuts!! They're very nice human beings.
But some people carrying guns aren't so nice. Someone shot and killed the only female Whooping Crane to have successfully raised a chick to adulthood in Wisconsin in over a hundred years, while she was migrating with her mate through Indiana. Hunters and members of the NRA have been telling me for years that their organizations are opposed to anyone using guns illegally--that guns don't kill Whooping Cranes, people kill them. So please, guys, please help us find the killer and help us prosecute him. Provide money to give a big reward for information leading to his conviction, and testify in court about how terribly wrong it is for anyone to aim a gun at anything before they know what it is. Show that you support throwing the book at the people who give hunting a bad name. Please. Operation Migration and the Eastern Whooping Crane Partnership are operating on a tiny fraction of what the powerful hunting and gun organizations have. Please help us.
But some people carrying guns aren't so nice. Someone shot and killed the only female Whooping Crane to have successfully raised a chick to adulthood in Wisconsin in over a hundred years, while she was migrating with her mate through Indiana. Hunters and members of the NRA have been telling me for years that their organizations are opposed to anyone using guns illegally--that guns don't kill Whooping Cranes, people kill them. So please, guys, please help us find the killer and help us prosecute him. Provide money to give a big reward for information leading to his conviction, and testify in court about how terribly wrong it is for anyone to aim a gun at anything before they know what it is. Show that you support throwing the book at the people who give hunting a bad name. Please. Operation Migration and the Eastern Whooping Crane Partnership are operating on a tiny fraction of what the powerful hunting and gun organizations have. Please help us.
How are you celebrating National Blue Jay Awareness Month?
Hoping against hope that they don't notice me sitting here.
How are you celebrating National Blue Jay Awareness Month?
Ignoring them--they never come close enough for a good bite. I prefer to celebrate moorhens, ducks, coots, and all those other yummy and cooperative morsels.
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