Thursday, November 20, 2008

Flying the friendly skies

Two years ago, one of my buddies and I got sick and tired of the rigors of migration, so we worked and worked and finally saved up enough money to take an airplane. Before the trip, all our friends kept telling us that nowadays we have to pay for those stupid little “bistro” meals on planes. It sucks--from everything I've heard, real airplane food sounded great--just the thing for the powerful acids in our digestive tracts. But paying for a lousy sandwich after all the money we paid for the tickets? No way!

So on the way to the airport, we each picked up a squashed rabbit in the road (well, I think mine was a rabbit--it was a little ripe) and we tucked them under a wing, and headed in to get our boarding passes.

If you can believe this, nowadays you have to "check in" on a computer! Neither of us had used computers much--from what I've heard, the choices are between some PC thing--and we vultures just don't approve of this whole "Political Correctness" crap--and an apple or macintosh or something like that--sounds way too fruity for one of us Atkins diet adherents.

Anyway, we tried pecking on the screen, but it didn't respond at all. Fortunately, a nice agent walked up and said the "touch" needed to be from fingers, not beaks, so she helped us herself. We each wanted a window seat, of course, and she got us all set up and then asked if she could check our luggage. We looked at those dead rabbits and said, “No thank you. This is carrion.”

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